


Deserving

by Dianalynn1138



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Mentions of Abortion, Mentions of Masterbation, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:09:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28304325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dianalynn1138/pseuds/Dianalynn1138
Summary: Life is what happens when you're busy avoiding you’re true feelings.
Relationships: GingerRose, Gingerflower - Relationship
Comments: 18
Kudos: 43
Collections: Gingerose Holiday Exchange 2020: Secret Spy





	Deserving

**Author's Note:**

  * For [haveahiddles (redvelvetrose)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redvelvetrose/gifts).



> This story is for my GingerRose Holiday Fic Exchange and I have had such a good time writing it. I hope the person I was Secret Spy for enjoys it as much as I do!

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I would calculate, with your symptoms, the size and your last missed cycle, you are at sixteen weeks,” Rose distantly heard the medical droid say to her as she laid on the bed in the Medbay; her hands shoved under her body, trying not to show her nervousness. Rose thought she had been careful. After it had happened the first time, she checked to see that her implant was still active and in working Order.

How had this happened?

“Stupid First Order sperm,” Rose mumbled to herself as she left the Medbay. It would figure that her clandestine romance with a certain former First Order general, the same general who had called for hers and Finn’s execution, would be exposed in such a way. Paige always said secrets don’t stay hidden long; either you spill the beans yourself, or something happens that’s out of your control.  
Rose and her sister, Paige, never had secrets from their parents or each other for this precise reason. 

That and Rose never had a reason to keep anything from Paige. Her sister had always been her sounding board and greatest defender.

Would Paige be happy for her now?

Walking out into the moist jungle air of Ajon Kloss, Rose put her hand over her softening belly, looking out into the shades of green that had helped camouflage the Resistance base during the last vestiges of the war. A year ago, Rose and crew had made their last stand on the deck of that cruiser; she hadn’t been thinking about anything past keeping herself and her friends alive for as long as she could. Now, as Rose looked across the camp to the man standing behind a workbench repairing a Y-Wing engine, she couldn’t help but stare.

“Well, Kid,” Rose said quietly to herself as she walked across the open expanse they used as a landing pad. “It’s now or never.”

The first time Rose had seen General Hux of the First Order, it had been on a propaganda holovid years before joining the Resistance with Paige’s sister. He had been young then but still dangerously beautiful, the sort of beautiful that truly deadly creatures possessed. His bright copper hair combed into place and tucked under the black cap had always stuck Rose as his most arresting feature. Rose had often wondered what his hair felt like: was it stiff and coarse like that of a lothwolf? Or did it have a silken feel to it? 

As Rose grew older, she thought more about his hair and what it might be like to run her hands through it, disturbing the smooth perfection and allowing it to fall forward, maybe as he leaned over her…?  
Those thoughts amplified after her capture and ill-fated death sentence when Rose had noticed the color of Hux’s eyes; a shade of green unlike anything Rose had ever seen before, had mesmerized her. Dreams had wracked her sleep for weeks after waking up in the Medbay following the skimmer crash on Crait, but she always stopped short of touching herself at the thought of General Hux. 

That was until Leia put her in charge of the First Order spy. Rose spent close to a year in constant contact with the man who steadily pushed her closer to the edge of erotic sanity. She should have felt appalled the first night she brought herself to orgasm from the memory of his voice, but instead, it had been one of the strongest releases Rose had ever had, either by herself or with a partner. Rose spoke with Hux almost daily. Every time she returned to her quarters, with the knowledge of how talented he was with mechanics, added to that with how he pronounced certain words had Rose on fire; her only relief was her own fingers and memories of green, green eyes.

No wonder she ended up pregnant!

Rose had to chuckle at her predicament. The way she had lusted after a man who had, on countless occasions, tried to kill her was nothing short of laughable. Hux had killed people she knew, people she cared for. But that was war. It was also probable someone she knew or even Rose herself had killed someone close to Hux. What was the old saying? All’s fair in love and war.

The first time she and Hux had slept together, it had been about being alive, needing to revel in the fact they had survived. At least, that’s what Rose told herself. The battle was hard-won, and Rose was on edge, having seen so much death and destruction over the years only for it to end in a matter of moments. Once back on base, Rose needed to see Hux, see his face to gauge how he was reacting to his glorious First Order going down in preverbal flames. But when she found him, sitting away from the press of people, he looked neither sad nor happy. Sitting on a large rock, his hair still in its slicked-back style and black uniform clinging to his body thanks to the humidity taking its toll. 

Rose should have kept walking, left him alone in his obvious grief, but instead, she moved in front of him, standing between his knees and reaching out, finally touching his hair and feeling an overwhelming desire run through her. The kiss that started as a timid exploration escalated quickly, devolving into a heated exchange of power. 

Even a year later, Rose could feel his heated breath against the shell of her ear as he spoke words that had seared into her soul.

“I don’t deserve you.”

But Rose’s body didn’t care if he deserved her, not when he moved from his seated position to stand in front of her, lifting her small body to his and taking her away from the boisterous celebration.   
Halfway across the clearing, Rose had to remind herself what she was doing and not lose herself in the heated memories of their first time. She couldn’t think about how, after she casually mentioned how much she loved his hair loose, he never combed it into place again. She was steps away from Hux, his back toward her, and the now long shaggy growth of gingers tresses brushed against the collar of his tunic.

They kept their relationship a secret if one could call what they had a relationship: A tenuous friendship balanced on transcendent sex wasn’t exactly a relationship. But Rose guessed that didn’t matter, now. They were going to have a child, and, of course, there were avenues she could take if she chose not to but, for a reason she wouldn’t give voice to, Rose couldn’t bring herself to even think of that. Rose had been sleeping with Hux for almost a year, and what began as lust-filled couplings had somehow changed into long luxurious nights of erotic bliss. 

Rose felt her heart begin to race as Hux turned around; the soft beard he started to grow a few months ago had only added to his deadly handsomeness, another aphrodisiac to Rose’s system. 

Damnit, Rose, you have a mission here, don’t blow it!

“Lieutenant Commander,” Hux said in his sharp as glass voice, making Rose’s resolve falter slightly.   
Was this the right thing to do? Was he making a mistake by telling him? Could she pretend it was someone else’s child and risk Hux’s hatred of her?

“To what do I owe this pleasure?”

So many scenarios ran through her mind as she crossed the clearing on how she might tell him, and at the moment, Rose couldn’t remember any of them. Hux must have seen the panic on her face because he moved closer to her, looking around to see there was no one to see them; he took her hand and led her deeper into the jungle.

“Rose, what is it?”

The way he said her name had always been a balm to her fried nerves, even at the most stressful times. It was always spoken with such reverence and in a softer voice than his regular timber.

“Hux, umm,” he moved them further under the canopy, sitting her on a stone and going to his knees in front of her. The worry and caring shown in those green eyes she had come to love were almost too much.

“Yes, my Starling?”

“Armitage, I’m pregnant.”

Armitage Hux, former general of the First Order, did not easily shock or be taken by surprise, but at that moment, he could have been pushed over with a soft gust of wind.

“Pregnant?” Every emotion one could experience ran through his body all at once, causing Hux to forget how to breathe momentarily. Rose, pregnant? As in, going to have a baby. And not just any baby, but his baby. 

Over two years ago, Hux had ordered her death, tormented her, and tortured her all for the sake of controlling the galaxy, something that no one had any right to. After the death of Snoke and Ren going out of his mind, Hux realized that it didn’t matter how he felt about the Resistance or what they appeared to stand for, the First Order was not what he had set out to make it, and it never would be. Hux never cared if the Resistance won, he only cared that Kylo Ren lose, and he would take his beloved First Order down with him to do so. 

Becoming a spy for the Resistance then getting to know his handler, the beautiful, brave, capable woman sitting in front of him had changed everything. Hux remembered the night everything had changed; the capture of the former trooper and insufferable pilot had shifted everything into motion. It was up to Hux to save their lives, to expose himself to the rest of the galaxy. A traitor to his cause. However, that didn’t matter to Hux because he knew it wasn’t to help the two who were foolish enough to get captured, but because his Rose cared for them, and he had finally seen just how love could overpower hate. Hux’s hatred of Ren was defeated by his growing love for a woman he almost killed.

Hux had been in contact with Rose for months before his revelation, but it wasn’t until the celebration of the Order’s defeat that Hux had a glimmer of hope that she felt the same. Their coming together was passionate, if not quick as to keep anyone from finding them. The last thing Hux wanted for Rose was her friends to think poorly of her for sleeping with the enemy. Just like the night they had kissed the first time, his admission, he didn’t deserve her still rang true in his mind.  
  


"Armitage, please say something,” Rose said, almost whispering the plea.

“I don’t deserve you,” Hux closed his eyes, willing the tears that threatened to fall to recede. “And I don’t deserve this.” He reached out towards Rose, placing his hand on her soft belly. “But I will do everything in my power to earn it.”

A hiccup from Rose brought his attention back, worried at the tears streaming down her face.

“Please, my Starling, do not cry. Have I upset you?” Reaching up to whip the tears from her beautiful face.

“You’re not upset?”

Sitting higher on his knees, Hux gave Rose a stern look as he cupped her cheeks.

“Rose Tico, never for one moment, think that I would be upset that you are having my child.” He said, keeping his gaze fixed on hers. “I have never been so far from being upset in my entire life.   
This is the second-best day of my entire wretched existence.”

Rose pulled back, shocked, and more than a little angry at his admission.

“Second?”

All Hux could do was smile at her ire. Rose’s passion and fierceness were what drew him to her in the first place.

“The first being the day I met you.”

“You mean the day you had me almost killed me with a plasma axe?” Her voice, incredulous.

Hux couldn’t help the laugh, then leaned in and kissed her nose to soothe the sting.

“Yes.” He said, moving to sit next to her on the rock, then wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly. “It was the day I was introduced to the single strongest, bravest, and passionate woman I had ever and will ever meet.”

They sat like that for long moments, her head against his chest as he held onto the woman he loved.

“I guess we should tell everyone,” Rose said with a resolved sigh as she moved to escape his hold, which Hux regretfully allowed but reached out, taking her hand in his, pulling Rose into his lap.

“Rose, I need to ask you something,” She blinked up at him, the apprehension rolling off of her in waves. “Are you alright with this?” he hesitated for a moment. “With me?”

The smile Rose gave him was soft and full of resolve.

“Yes. It was a shock, and I’m still trying to figure out how my implant failed but, yes, Armi, I’m happy.” She paused, chewing on her lower lip. “Are, are you?”

“Are you kidding me? The woman I love is pregnant with my child. What’s not to be over the moon about?”

“You love me?” Rose whispered so softly he almost didn’t hear it.

“Starling, how could I not love you?”

She leaned down and kissed him, meeting his lips with her as her arms wrapped around his neck. Hux held onto her tightly, never wanting to let her go but not so tight as to hurt the child growing inside of her.

“I love you, Armitage Hux,” Rose said between kisses while running her hands through his hair.

Growing up, Armitage Hux’s one goal was to prove he wasn’t the lost cause his father had always thought of him as. That he had to be the best in everything, needing to gain the respect of those around him but never, in Armitage Hux’s wildest dreams did he think he could be that person, be better than his father, but being a better father himself. To never make his child feel worthless and give him or her the happy life he was never given. 

Rose had given him so much in the last year, and he knew he would never be able to repay even a fraction of what she had done for him. But this he could do. Hux would not be his father; Hux would be what Rose would want her child’s father to be. And he would spend the rest of his days proving to Rose he deserved her and her child.


End file.
